After Paul Nuttall’s pledge to ban the niqab in the UK, Ukip supporters have clamoured in defence of their favoured party after accusations of misogyny and sexism were made.
Brian, 54, stated “Ukip don’t have any issues with women. We just want women to do their best while wearing high heels and short skirts.” At least, that’s what we think he said between his slurred words. He continued, “That’s why I think the burka is oppressive – Muslim women can’t look good. Their Muslamic men hold ray guns over their face until they cover them up. Ukip’s men will set these women free!” He declared as his glass of beer sloshed around threateningly.
Mum of 15, Carly felt it was ridiculous that Muslim women were ‘cheating the welfare system’ by being forced to have 5 or 6 children and then claiming child benefit instead of going out to work. When questioned if she worked herself, she muttered something about having mouths to feed and ‘fags to smoke’ and she could hear her 3 year old screaming and had better run. We discovered that Carly’s partner, Phil, is also a benefit claimant. We asked to interview him and she told us we’d find him on the next road selling rip-off DVDs.
“Yeh well, these women don’t speak English. How are they supposed to raise good kids?!” he said while his 11 year-old son sold “Beauty and the Beast” to his latest customer with a cigarette in hand.
Phil declared his intention to vote Ukip was based entirely on this pledge. “I think it’ll make things better. These women are oppressed when they come to this country. They have lots of freedom and telling them to take it off is the only way to set them free. If they want to keep wearing that thing on their face, they can go back to where they came from!”
We told him a lot of women wearing niqab are born here to which he responded “Yeah? Well, our man Paul will sort them out – these women are too free-thinking and stop us from getting a good view of their bums. How am I supposed to work out which one I want in the sack if they’re always covered up?! And now it’s rubbing off on our women!” He cried almost on the verge of hysteria. The interview had to come to an abrupt end as Phil declared he needed a ‘few minutes of privacy’ in the corner while he thought about Kelly Brook.